His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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