So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
