How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
