So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
