It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
