Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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