last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
