Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
