Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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