watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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