The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
