The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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