thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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