I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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