yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
