i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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