For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
