i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
