Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
