Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
