don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
