Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
