All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
