tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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