You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I did not marry a roomba.
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