Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
