Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
