Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
