His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
