margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
