i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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