ya dads aren't the best wingmen
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
