Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
