was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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