Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
