oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
