Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
