Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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