just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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