He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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