The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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