Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
