half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it glows. i had to have it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
