I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
