we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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