the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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