dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
