toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize