I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
