And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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