Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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