I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize