So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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