Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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