all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
