How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
