i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
