you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
