i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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