Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
