there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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