My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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